Tag Archives: Twix

Frozen Week: Good job, good effort, Twix Ice Cream Bar

IMG_4554Not a bold statement: The defining trait of a Twix bar is the cookie.

There’s chocolate, caramel and/or peanut butter going on there, for sure, but that’s not why you buy a Twix.

You buy a Twix because of the crunch from that sweet-ass cookie.

[Ed. note: Alternatively, you very well buy a Twix because there are two of them because you love to eat things in prime numbers or you are a mother/father of two young children who do NOT need to eat a whole candy bar right now.]

With that basic Twix principle understood, one would think that when developing a Twix ice cream bar, the ice cream bar developers would make sure they nailed the cookie part.

#nope.

The Twix Ice Cream Bar is very similar to the Snickers Ice Cream Bar [Ed. note: ICB will be the preferred term here on out, in the proper sense], with a few key differences:

  • The ice cream filling is straight-up vanilla. Not some tan/caramel/gently chocolate facsimile (as featured in Snickers ICB). Polar-bear/first-communion/most-useless-crayon-in-the-box white vanilla.
  • In lieu of the peanut, the Twix ICB features small bites of the aforementioned sweet-ass cookie interspersed atop its caramel-sauce layer.
  • The Twix ICB is slightly narrower.

Otherwise, though, the bars are the same: thin outer chocolate layer, caramel sauce, made of ice cream.

Those differences, ahem, make all the difference.

Focusing first on the cookie bites, because, duh: Man, do they ever leave you wanting more. Continue reading

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A Passage From a Novel Without Any Context: 3.14.15 Edition

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“Thank you so much. Again, I’m so sorry.”

The cashier squinted her eyes like she was smiling but her mouth never actually moved. She hated me.

They all did.

“C’mon, Toby! Come with mommy!”

His little fingers grasped my largest two and we made toward the automatic door.

“Mother of the year, right there.”

What. “Mother of the year right there”?

You have got to be. fcking. kidding me.

I turned and glared at that little bitch.

“You’ve got some nerve. You know that?”

“Excuse me, what?” Continue reading

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Valentine’s Week: When a Twix Heart Isn’t a Heart and Is Only Barely a Twix

IMG_3612Seasonal varieties of candy bars are nothing new: Take the same shit you were planning to throw in there anyway, pour it into a differently shaped mold, package it with a fun color … voila! Profits. (?)

Seems pretty simple, but the different shapes of these candy bars has a penchant to upset the tested, fine-tuned and perfected balance of a tried-and-true candy bar. Sometimes it works for the better (e.g. the universally beloved Reese’s Egg and/or Tree), and sometimes it’s a Twix Heart. Continue reading

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