Tag Archives: Snickers

Frozen Week: Good job, good effort, Twix Ice Cream Bar

IMG_4554Not a bold statement: The defining trait of a Twix bar is the cookie.

There’s chocolate, caramel and/or peanut butter going on there, for sure, but that’s not why you buy a Twix.

You buy a Twix because of the crunch from that sweet-ass cookie.

[Ed. note: Alternatively, you very well buy a Twix because there are two of them because you love to eat things in prime numbers or you are a mother/father of two young children who do NOT need to eat a whole candy bar right now.]

With that basic Twix principle understood, one would think that when developing a Twix ice cream bar, the ice cream bar developers would make sure they nailed the cookie part.

#nope.

The Twix Ice Cream Bar is very similar to the Snickers Ice Cream Bar [Ed. note: ICB will be the preferred term here on out, in the proper sense], with a few key differences:

  • The ice cream filling is straight-up vanilla. Not some tan/caramel/gently chocolate facsimile (as featured in Snickers ICB). Polar-bear/first-communion/most-useless-crayon-in-the-box white vanilla.
  • In lieu of the peanut, the Twix ICB features small bites of the aforementioned sweet-ass cookie interspersed atop its caramel-sauce layer.
  • The Twix ICB is slightly narrower.

Otherwise, though, the bars are the same: thin outer chocolate layer, caramel sauce, made of ice cream.

Those differences, ahem, make all the difference.

Focusing first on the cookie bites, because, duh: Man, do they ever leave you wanting more. Continue reading

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Frozen Week: Bask in the glory of the Snickers Ice Cream bar

IMG_4550Unpopular opinion: I think Snickers are just OK.

I really have nothing bad to say about the bar. The Snickers is one of the most well-constructed candy bars of all time. It has balance, flavor, mouthfeel and can cure a case of the grumpies.

It’s just never done it for me. I like to eat them, but I have just never understood their unanimous coronation as Most Perfect Candy Bar Of All Time.

I’d rather have a Butterfinger. #sorrybro

Snickers Ice Cream bars, on the other hand? Swapping the chewy nougat and caramel for a smoother ice cream and caramel sauce?? Staying so cold the chocolate shell crisps in your mouth every time you bite into it, dawg??? Being just the right size that it is a satisfying dessert without leaving you overstuffed????

That’s a treat so deserving in praise that it should have a scholarship named after it.

This is the king of ice cream candy bars, the standard by which all others are judged.

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Google Search that Brought Traffic to BOaP of the Day

“night court bulls door way”

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Frozen Week: Celebrating the last week of summer with an objective taste-test

IMG_4490So, um, Labor Day’s next week.

Summer’s always too short! You turn around and it’s gone! However did this happen? #lovesummer

As a chronic sweater and autumn’s #1 fan, I’ve never felt particularly aligned with the widespread sadness that comes the end of the 3-4 hottest months of the year. But, as I’ve gotten older and better understood the despair that comes along with hoofing it to work on a 3-degree day in March, I’ve grown to appreciate the various joys of summer.

Beer gardens. The smell of sunscreen. Shorts, tank tops, sundresses and seersucker. Iced coffee. One of my two annual dental checkups.

Frozen candy bars.

They really aren’t as satisfying during the rest of the year, are they? I have fond memories of gnawing on frozen Snickers bars with my dad while playing golf on family vacation, or of throwing melting, near-death Reese’s from the freezer and not waiting for them to thaw. That shit doesn’t fly in November.

To celebrate the last week of summer, I’m throwing [Ed. note: Holding? Declaring? Embarking upon?] Breaking Off A Piece’s newest theme week: Frozen Week.

Let’s let it go, guys.

To kick things off, I wanted to take a serious damn look at frozen candy bars. Earlier in the month, one of my favorite Twitter follows — Grantland’s Bill Barnwell — posed a great question.

I replied to him, but given my self-assigned authority on the subject, I felt pretty silly not having a more scienticically informed answer.

I asked Abby and Alex Bar to help me fix that.

We met for dinner at Honey Butter Fried Chicken, them bringing their smiles and me bringing a large, insulated bag with frozen and room-temperatured versions of the five most popular answers to Barnwell’s question.

After the meal [Ed. note: Splendid, always. If you’re in Chicago, pay them a visit.], I laid out my wares on our pic-a-nic table and took the picture you see at the top of this post. As a brisk wind picked up and we drew a small amount of attention (Alex/Abby: “She wants to give you money for your basketball team.), we decided to pack things up and head back to the #BSMT (my small, garden-level den of an apartment) for the actual taste-test, which would feature a bite of room-temp candy bar and then a bite of frozen, to determine:

1) Which candy bar improved the most in its frozen state?
2) Which candy bar tasted the best frozen?

Up first …

IMG_4491Charleston Chew Minis
[Ed. note: I fully intended to buy full-sized Charleston Chews, but the closest Walgreens, CVS and grocery stores didn’t carry it and I wasn’t going to drive to the next town. If that makes me a half-assed candy bar blogger than so be it.]

Room temperature

Abby: “These have the texture of deflated packing peanuts. Or deflated marshmallows.”

Alex: “There is … very little flavor.”

Me: I’d grown up enjoying Charleston Chews, but only when frozen (bias revealed and admitted). The minis are a more palatable eating experience, but at room temperature both the full- and mini-sized are … laborious to chew.

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Frozen Charleston Chews what?

Frozen

Alex: “Hmm … There’s a pop that’s pretty deliberate, then it sort of melts into a gummi.” “It crunches, then it sticks to your teeth.”

Abby: [Ed. note: Unintelligible notes holy wow my handwriting is bad. Sorry, Abby.] … “These melt; the others didn’t.”

Me: Damn, that crunch makes all the difference. They’re definitely a little blander than I remember, but the stark difference from frozen to room temperature is so welcome. They almost shatter upon first bite, then melt into a comfortable chewiness until only the last remnants stick to your teeth. I’m a fan.

Preference

Alex: Room temperature
Abby: Neither
Me: Frozen Continue reading

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LIVE EVENT: Real-time candy bar commercial analysis at Breaking Off A Piece

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As I’m sure you are familiar, there are some pretty fun commercials that happen during the Super Bowl. Oftentimes, these commercials are for candy bars.

If that phenomenon occurs tonight, check back on this post for real-time analysis and reviews.

And I’m still too upset to root for anything with my heart, but I can root with my bank account, and a Patriot victory would settle a few bets for me. So go New England, I guess. I’m not going to make a ball-deflating joke. Continue reading

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WTF Is This?: Snickers Rockin’ Nut Road

IMG_3574I never really understood rocky road.

[Ed. note: I know you’re here for my candy bar expertise, but I was once an ice cream professional, SO I THINK IT’S FAIR TO SAY I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT ICE CREAM; so Imma go ahead and talk about it for a minute here. I also know about mopping, tossing and catching gummi bears, and smooties, but that’s a different entry.]

It’s just chocolate ice cream with two flavors that get overpowered by the base ice cream flavor, and one of two textures that are barely distinguishable. It’s certainly not a bad flavor, I just don’t know how or why it became a staple in the ice cream flavor canon, alongside standouts like cookie dough, neapolitan and cookies and cream (LOL just kidding about neapolitan nobody eats that weird stuff on purpose). Continue reading

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I’m Too Upset About The Packers To Write About Candy Bars Today

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At some point I’ll talk about Snickers Peanut Butter, but I’m really just not in the mood. Dove is Dove.

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My feelings on almonds, in a nutshell

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Of all the flavors extracted from things that are used in making sweet things tasty (early favorite for qualifier of the year, I know), almond is by far my favorite.

It probably stems from my youth, when Mother Bar would consistently bake good-ass things flavored with almond, namely cake, cookies and, the best of them all, frosting. (If you have never had a tasty baked good with almond frosting, I encourage you to do so immediately, then if you don’t like it, escort yourself from the room and give your taste buds a talkin’ to because they need to straighten up, buster.) Continue reading

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