Category Archives: Trick Season

Oct 31 2015
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Column, Trick Season, WTF Is This?

Trick Season, Treat Season: On Halloween, sisters and candy corn

IMG_5203It is remarkable to me that a food as milquetoast as candy corn is polarizing as the Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Candy corn is garbage trash food! Candy corn is delicious and hating on candy corn is the new candy corn! Why is it that people hate candy corn? Let me explain!

No fewer than five different people asked me this week on my thoughts on candy corn, all with the same kind of “this is not really what this question is about” guise as when a Tinder date asks about the last book you read. My two thoughts:

  1. Candy corn is something that I will put into my mouth, chew and eat and that is as much as I really have to say about candy corn. [Ed. note: Though I will note that Indian Native American Indigenous chocolate candy corn is worse and mellowcreme pumpkins are superior.]
  2. If not for candy corn, I would not know what an actual corn kernel looked like, so I will always be grateful for the lesson.

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Oct 30 2015
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Trick Season, WTF Is This?

Trick Season, Treat Season: Breaking off some new pieces

IMG_5202Kit Kat has a penchant for weird flavor combinations. Typically, that’s been reserved for more international fare, but I ran into some Halloween-style combos.

The first of which, pictured above, featured an orange-tinged, white chocolate outer casing with a chocolate filling in between the wafers. Which is another way of saying that it featured an orange-tinged, white chocolate outer casing with it doesn’t matter in between the wafers, because the white chocolateyness of it all overpowered the candy bar.

If you’re a white chocolate fan, man, this bar is for you. Otherwise, give this one to the trick or treaters. They will be excited about the orange and won’t remember it was you.

IMG_5194Now this triple chocolate Kit Kat, on the other hand, tastes … pretty much like a Kit Kat. Highly recommended!

The only demerits this one gets is for simple counting: They swapped out regular-flavored wafers for chocolate wafers and somehow got to three entire chocolates.

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Oct 27 2015
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Trick Season

Trick Season, Treat Season: Pun candy gonna pun

IMG_5197This is a Cadbury Creme Egg with a green “yolk” instead of a … well … yolk-colored one. They taste exactly the same [Ed. note: A boon for those of you who like Cadbury Creme Eggs more than I do].

IMG_5200But this one is better.

Because “Screme”.

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Oct 27 2015
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Trick Season

Trick Season, Treat Season: They’re selling food for zombies now, apparently

IMG_5193Really, though, Sky Bar stands to make a LOT of money: Their customer base is always growing.

When I passed this at Walgreens, I made a joke to myself. I said, “What, is it chocolate-covered BRAINS?”

I chuckled, very satisfied with my little joke.

Then I read the description that it was actually chocolate-covered brains and felt simultaneously validated and bummed out that a company would actually make a candy bar out of a dad joke.

IMG_5195The good news is that it wasn’t actually brains that were covered in chocolate.

The bad news is that it was just corn syrup with a metric ton of red dye.

IMG_5196

Gah-ross.

It was a bad candy bar. Happy Halloween, diabetic zombies.

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Oct 15 2015
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Treat Season, Trick Season

Trick Season, Treat Season: Guest Bar submissions requested: Let’s talk about Halloween candy

Mornin, frands. We’re approaching the High Holiday of candy: Halloween.

I have some fun planned with my own posts, but I want to extend an invitation to you, my talented and creative readers:
If you want to write something about Halloween, I will publish it in this space. Sure, there has to be mention of a candy bar somewhere in there, but that’s the only requirement.

And, like, really you could just tack “York Peppermint Patty” to the end of an essay on your favorite autumn leaf and I’d run it, so that’s not even much of a requirement.

I’ve been fortunate to have one spectacular Guest Bar this year, but I’d love to have more. Everyone outside of Jehovah’s Witnesses has a Halloween story to share, and even they could probably write something pretty awesome about what it’s like being the kid in class without a costume.

I suppose this is a candy bar blogger’s version of trick or treat. Which means I’ll leave you with this: It’s more fun to put out a bowl or give out toothbrushes than to have your lights off and ignore the doorbell.