Tag Archives: Tabasco

Friends and friends and candy bars

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Happy new year, everybody! An entire month and change late!

Apologies for the hiatus; life’s been a bit of a whirlwind lately: I left a job, went on a Christmas vacation to the California coast and a New Year’s vacation to the California mountains, found a Lady Bar, worked at a fashion convention and lost a 1-on-1 basketball game for $100.

As I’ve navigated the highs and lows of the past few months, one of the great constants has been the support of my friends, who, in addition to being overall swell people, have also supplied me with more than my fair share of candy bars to sample.

A very genuine thank you to all of those who sent bars my way, including:

The friend who goes to visit a candy factory and knows you like silly hats

Many thanks to Jacki Bar, who not only sent along some delicious treats from her tour of the Hammond Candies factory in Colorado, but also sent this sweet-ass hat, which I immediately put on, because attention:

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Great hat. Why don’t you see more of these nowadays?

Of course, she also sent some sweets:

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Hammonds Whoopie Pie bar was, well, not exactly a whoopie pie facsimile, but, instead a dark chocolate bar with vanilla creme. It was definitely a tasty chocolate bar, but given the whoopie pie billing, I can’t say it completely lived up to my expectation (me and the whoopies go way back).

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Gimme more of dat creme, yo.

More than anything, the bitterness of the dark chocolate overpowered the gentle vanilla in the creme, and anyone who’s had a whoopie pie knows that the creme is paramount. If Hammonds had adjusted the ratio ever so slightly, this would have been a knockout. Continue reading

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“Oh, you want weird?”

[Ed. note: In honor of Max Bar‘s birthday, I missed a flight this morning and, as a result, am on a layover in Cincinnati. There is a candy store near the food court.]

“Sorry if all you smell is perfume. I was just trying on a bunch of it before over there and now it smells like perfume everywhere.”

“Don’t worry about it. I can’t smell a thing.”

[Ed. note: I could smell a thing.]

“That’s a lot of candy. Someone’s got a sweet tooth!”

“Heh. Yup. I eat a lot of candy.”

“Looking for anything in particular?”

“Not really … well … Do you have any weird candy? Like stuff you can’t find at most places you’d buy candy?”

“Oh, you want weird?”

Without any hesitation, the clerk walks over to a display, picks up and hands me this:

 

[Ed. note: I … I … suppose we have to get married?]

***

Tasting notes

Tabasco Spicy Chocolate (pictured above)

– Remarkable. Try this if you see it anywhere.

– Up front, it was just dark chocolate, but after a little while, the back of my throat started to burn. Tasted nothing like Tabasco.

Big Hunk (pictured above)

– A peanut-flavored taffy, which would have been weird even if it hadn’t been used to hit on me.

– It did provide a good cure for the Snack Attack, tho.

 
[Ed. note: If you’re wondering, I did indeed Bust It, Smack It and Break It To Pieces. The people in this food court are giving me the best looks. One guy has a cowboy hat on!]

  
Ice Cubes

– Not actually ice cubes. Just weirdly soft chocolate.

  
Zotz

– Whoever named this candy must really like Zs.

– Fizz bombs akin to the fizzy Warheads.

  
Giant Chewy Sweet Tarts

– I did not enjoy chewing on that trivet. 

  
Round Up candy cigarettes

– Pretty dull, but man did I ever feel cool eating them.  

 

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