You can call it a sorbet bar. You can slap your brand on there, too. You can even not put a joke on the stick.
But at the end of the day, you’re pretty much just a square popsicle.
True fact: It was seeing Starburst Minis at a CVS that got me to realize how out-of-touch I was in the realm of candy bars and talk about it with Alex Bar, a conversation from which came the genesis of Breaking Off A Piece.
For something of such historical significance, I sure do wish I liked them more.
– They are of a slightly different consistency than a typical Starburst. A little less chewy, a little more taffy-y. I suspect this has something to do with trying to prevent them from sticking together … but it’s off-putting.
– As one coworker described, “It tastes like medicine. And that’s why I like it.”
– The standard four Starburst flavors are included, but each one tastes … only mostly like the real thing. Starburst Minis are like Dr. Thunder.
– Nothing fancy about Hershey’s Caramels [Ed. note: Aside from the cursive script on the wrapper]; it’s straight caramel and chocolate.
– Similar to what you’d find in a box of chocolates [Ed. note: If you were to select a caramel one, of course.]; the caramel is solid and chewy, but not so much that you have to strain to bite only a portion.
– Thumbs-up here. I don’t think I’d go out of my way to buy one, but it’s a nice little treat.
.. Thank you.”
As the server walked away from his table, Jeff glanced back down at the tenders resting atop their french fry bed. He had no idea whether they were actually great — he hadn’t taken a single bite — but they looked great enough, the same Sysco breaded chicken whatevers available at any other pub. Fingers here, strips there. They were hard to screw up.
One place once had the nerve to call them “cutlettes”. Fkers. Continue reading