Tag Archives: Skittles

WTF is This? Skittles Orchards

IMG_3745Ya damn right I held this post for St. Patrick’s Day because the bag was green.

Skittles’ newest offering is Orchards, which is supposedly comprised of fruit flavors grown in orchards, even though just about everybody says orange grove and nobody knows what a peach farm is called.

[Ed. note: Thank you, M&M-Mars, for the search phrase “What determines the nomenclature of a fruit garden?”]

My theory? Orchards is the severance package they offered Lime when it got demoted from the main bag in favor of the upstart Green Apple.

Poor Lime.

Tasting Notes

– Lime: Same ol’ good-ass lime. Continue reading

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LIVE EVENT: Real-time candy bar commercial analysis at Breaking Off A Piece


As I’m sure you are familiar, there are some pretty fun commercials that happen during the Super Bowl. Oftentimes, these commercials are for candy bars.

If that phenomenon occurs tonight, check back on this post for real-time analysis and reviews.

And I’m still too upset to root for anything with my heart, but I can root with my bank account, and a Patriot victory would settle a few bets for me. So go New England, I guess. I’m not going to make a ball-deflating joke. Continue reading

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Rank ‘Em Up: Skittles


[Ed. note: Rank ‘Em Up is a running feature in which I will give definitive rankings of something candy-bar-related, and you will disagree with me and end up respecting me less.]

These are the definitive rankings of the colors of Skittle.

1. Red
2. Old green
3. Yellow
4. Orange
5. Purple

17. New green. Fk you, new green. I hate you and you have made it impossible to grab a handful and toss them into your mouth without care or consequence. You mesh with none of the other flavors and besmirch the memory of your predecessor in color.

Disagree? Sound off. I have my reasons. I’m curious about yours. Taste the rainbow.

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