Tag Archives: Russell Stover

Something for the Rest of Us

  
In honor of Westivus Weekend, allow me to air a couple of grievances. [Ed. note: Early, of course, which in and of itself is actually my first grievance.]

I got a LOTTA PROBLEMS with this candy. 

  1. “Iddy biddy”?
  2. Iddy.
  3. Biddy. 
  4. How you going to call them “iddy biddy” and not also call them “widdle”?
  5. People who use the word “widdle”
  6. The voice people use when they use the word “widdle”
  7. 60 Santas (approximately)! What an unorthodox (approximate) number! [Ed. note: I can only assume there will be more widdle Santas, like when they throw extra screws in Ikea furniture]
  8. Approximations
  9. Unorthodox approximations
  10. IKEA furniture
  11. That they don’t throw in more things like when they throw extra screws in Ikea furniture
  12. That apparently counting the widdle Santas in O’Hare is something worth staring at
  13. That there were EXACTLY 60 widdle Santas.
  14. 60 widdle Santas. I wish I were kidding.

  15. Precise, accurate unorthodox approximations
  16. Wrapper images that are actual size
  17. The need to justify enlarged images on wrappers by telling consumers it’s “for texture”
  18. That these are pretty much just eating an individual bag of chocolate chips
  19. That stupid shit about the Reese’s Trees
  20. That they don’t sell individual bags of chocolate chips

Happy Festivus weekend everybody. 

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    It’s Bunny Season: Remember How Awesome Reese’s Eggs Are?

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    … Russell Stover Peanut Butter Eggs are that miserable. They are fking disgusting and the first candy I’ve actually spit out all year.

    Does that look like peanut butter to you?

    Does that look like peanut butter to you?

    You have ruined my day you monsters.

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    Valentine’s Week: Strawberry Hearts R Gud, Cookie Dough Hearts R Bad

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    The strawberry creme had a nice, light flavor and texture that complemented the milk chocolate in which it was encased. The “cookie dough”, unrefrigerated because of course it was, tasted like carpet flavored like cookie dough.

    Friends, I think that the age old saying applies here: If you’re going to eat cookie dough covered in chocolate, you should probably make it yourself.

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