Tag Archives: Nutty Bar

A salve for your Girl Scout Cookie withdrawal

IMG_4269Girl Scout Cookies are a thing that everybody forgets about loving until the day they go on sale again. [Ed. note: Think I’m kidding? Tell me what day they go on sale. You can’t, can you? It’s the most ambiguous time of year.] After that? Look out. Frenzy time.

People buy boxes and boxes; they freeze them, they share them, they talk about them and they write about them. When the supplies dwindle, there’s a little bit of lament, then we go back to jammin’ on Oreos, E.L. Fudges and Girl Scout Cookie facsimiles, until the next season comes around again. Rinse, repeat.

I typically avoid them.

*ducks*

I know enough about my levels of self-control to know what will happen when I bring them into the house: a sleeve becomes a serving size.

A single bar, though? Not a bad way to get your fix, be it on account of withdrawal or abstinence. Nestle offers Girl Scout Cookie-themed Crunch Bars typically in the May-August months, though they’re less like Crunch Bars and closer to a Reese Stick or a Kit Kat in their wafer-based nature.

They have three offerings based on three cookies. My thoughts:

Peanut Butter Creme (based on Tagalongs or Peanut Butter Patties, depending on your regional nomenclature) (pictured above)

This bar tastes like if there were a romantic comedy where a Little Debbie Nutty Bar stars as a clumsy-but-lovable man boy who accidentally conceives a child with the uptight Reese’s Sticks after a boozy post-kickball happy hour — even though they couldn’t be more different — then end up falling in love and raising the child candy bar, only if that bar was played by the same kid who played Anakin Skywalker in Episode I: The Phantom Menace and only did a serviceable job, so you really were left wishing that you had just reached for one of his parents.

A Reese’s Sticks or a Nutty Bar would both have been better, but I have to say that if that pod racing part is on, I watch it every time.

IMG_4318Caramel & Coconut (Samoas or Caramel DeLites)

Caramel DeLites were always my favorite growing up, and I think that the Caramel & Coconut is my favorite of the Girl Scout Cookie Crunches.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Candy Bar or Candy Baren’t: Keebler Fudge Sticks Jumbo

IMG_3564IMG_3566Keebler doesn’t make candy bars. They make cookies.

Little elves ‘n stuff, you know? Do you think the tree where they’re confined houses not only a bakery school but also a confectionery school? Please. The only real skill they have with chocolate is in haphazardly adding it when they’ve baked a substandard cookie.

Oh, did I go too far? Have you ever had an E.L. Fudge without the fudge? It’s edible, but otherwise, it’s a pretty shitty cookie. The don’t call it E.L. Cookies. There’s a reason for that. (Mad props to my Magistra for ensuring I was exposed to E.L. Fudge enough to be able to make those jokes.)

That being said … what happens when Keebler *does* make a candy bar? Continue reading

Tagged , , , ,