Keebler doesn’t make candy bars. They make cookies.
Little elves ‘n stuff, you know? Do you think the tree where they’re confined houses not only a bakery school but also a confectionery school? Please. The only real skill they have with chocolate is in haphazardly adding it when they’ve baked a substandard cookie.
Oh, did I go too far? Have you ever had an E.L. Fudge without the fudge? It’s edible, but otherwise, it’s a pretty shitty cookie. The don’t call it E.L. Cookies. There’s a reason for that. (Mad props to my Magistra for ensuring I was exposed to E.L. Fudge enough to be able to make those jokes.)
That being said … what happens when Keebler *does* make a candy bar? Continue reading