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It’s OK, The Vegans Probably Don’t Have Any Beef With You

“I don’t like vegans. I gotta say: I trust ’em about as much as I trust a rattlesnake.” – Unnamed, mustachioed, cigar-smoking man with whom I once judged a chili cook-off

Vegans really piss some people off.

And I’m not talking about the shitty vegans. The man-this-is-a-pretty-sweet-castle-I’m-hanging-out-in-with-my-seitan-and-judgment vegans. The please-just-look-away-while-I-eat-this-cheesesteak-because-your-eyes-are-making-me-feel-guilty vegans. I think we can all agree that those people do exist and they are terrible.

No, the ones I’m referring to are the 90-95% of vegans who are actually just people. Completely normal, personable folks who have made the dietary decision to not eat anything that has to do with an animal (or something like that — vegan friends feel free to correct and/or elaborate). They don’t force their lifestyle upon you, and the only burden they become is the astronomical lift it takes to consider their diet when you invite them into your home to entertain and feed them. They do their black bean stuff while you do your ground beef stuff and afterward you watch the game together over two bottles of the same beer.

And people despise them. Continue reading

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