Tag Archives: corn syrup

Trick Season, Treat Season: They’re selling food for zombies now, apparently

IMG_5193Really, though, Sky Bar stands to make a LOT of money: Their customer base is always growing.

When I passed this at Walgreens, I made a joke to myself. I said, “What, is it chocolate-covered BRAINS?”

I chuckled, very satisfied with my little joke.

Then I read the description that it was actually chocolate-covered brains and felt simultaneously validated and bummed out that a company would actually make a candy bar out of a dad joke.

IMG_5195The good news is that it wasn’t actually brains that were covered in chocolate.

The bad news is that it was just corn syrup with a metric ton of red dye.



It was a bad candy bar. Happy Halloween, diabetic zombies.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Exercises in Candy Paraphernelia


I remember, as a kid, being candy-shamed for the “smoking” candy cigarettes by my elementary school guidance counselor. She said that they were just a marketing tool used by the cigarette companies to get kids to want to smoke real cigarettes, and that real cigarettes are a dangerous road to walk down, young man.

She was mistaken, though. Kids want to smoke real cigarettes because they are cool, because they aren’t supposed to and/or because their parents smoke them. The only thing that candy cigarettes make kids want to know is what they’re actually supposed to look like, because they look nothing like actual cigarettes. [Ed. note: They actually look like joints, kids. Marijuana joints. And, it seems, current culture is saying those are probably better for you to smoke anyway. Certainly more fun, at least.] Continue reading

Tagged , , ,