Tag Archives: banana

Otters, Crowlers and #TaskTourism

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I just returned from a magnificent and too-short weekend in Portland, Ore., where I got to celebrate a Festivus I might have accidentally foisted upon my hosts.

I highly recommend at least a cursory exploration of the town. If you’re at a loss for what to do, you might consider just following your host around town as he/she runs errands. That might sound like a snide thing to be saying, but, very genuinely, I got to see a great deal of the city in a very efficient manner. Whoever figures out how to monetize #TaskTourism might just stumble onto the next AirbnB.

Before my trip, my hosts Chris and Rachel Bar had spent some time on St. Juan Island in Washington State and brought back the lavender milk chocolate pictured above for me to try.

Now, before I go any further, it is important for me to note that when I was growing up, my mother had a therapeutic neck pillow that contained lavender beads. You could put it in the microwave and wrap it around your neck, and it would somehow make life better.

It is also important for me to note that said pillow also was shaped like an otter and my mother named it Jethro.

The lavender chocolate is uniquely delicious. It is smooth and light and the lavender complements the milk chocolate in a fun way that dances across the tongue. It’s almost like enjoying a chocolate-covered flower.

But all I could think of when I ate it was my mother’s microwavable therapeutic neck pillow otter Jethro.

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I also ran into an Alcove Banana Cream Crunch bar out there, which seemed like it would be a lot of fun. It turns out it’s not; the banana flavor comes across as too fake, even if it’s not, and the crispy rice bits compromise the integrity of the admittedly nice chocolate — you end up having to chew it to get the full effect, which is kind of a bummer.

At the same liquor store I bought that lackluster bar, though, was a wonderful invention/craft beer distribution system called the Crowler. Basically, instead of having to fill an entire growler of beer, the store/bar pours beer into an oversized can and SEALS THE GIANT CAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. I took home 32 oz. of Boneyard’s Notorious triple IPA, and also took home a newfound sense of wonder.

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Google Search That Brought Traffic to BOaP of the Day

“keebler elf house”

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Help me with an important dilemma

Oh hey der loyal readers. I’m in need of some advice.

Before I hit you with my sitch, there are two things you need to know about me for context.

1. I have a terrible character flaw where I have a crippling need to prove anybody who challenges me wrong.

2. I have an emerging bald spot on the crown of my head as well as a receding hairline.

Now that that is understood, here we go:

I’m here in Vegas having a great time. It is beautiful, I am surrounded by great friends, I am gambling and watching college basketball.

While walking around, my buddy Max Bar noticed that my bald spot has gotten more prevalent and made a comment as such. We got started talking about it and at some point I said something about how at some point I would need to just shave it all off and go short.

Thence, of course, the challenge was issued.

Going short buzz is something I’ve always wanted to try, and is a sober decision I want to make. Doing it now not only presents a time to do so but also gives me a chance to prove those dopes wrong.

So, is there a way for me to buzz my hair off without becoming a “he went to Vegas, got drunk and became a character in a Hangover movie” cliche?

Open to all thoughts. If it helps, I am wearing sunglasses that make me look like a robot.

Tasting Notes

– Fake banana flavor is the worst.
– Lotta folks out there not thinkin a Laffy Taffy is a candy bar. I maintain my categorization.

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