“Oh, you want weird?”

[Ed. note: In honor of Max Bar‘s birthday, I missed a flight this morning and, as a result, am on a layover in Cincinnati. There is a candy store near the food court.]

“Sorry if all you smell is perfume. I was just trying on a bunch of it before over there and now it smells like perfume everywhere.”

“Don’t worry about it. I can’t smell a thing.”

[Ed. note: I could smell a thing.]

“That’s a lot of candy. Someone’s got a sweet tooth!”

“Heh. Yup. I eat a lot of candy.”

“Looking for anything in particular?”

“Not really … well … Do you have any weird candy? Like stuff you can’t find at most places you’d buy candy?”

“Oh, you want weird?”

Without any hesitation, the clerk walks over to a display, picks up and hands me this:

 

[Ed. note: I … I … suppose we have to get married?]

***

Tasting notes

Tabasco Spicy Chocolate (pictured above)

– Remarkable. Try this if you see it anywhere.

– Up front, it was just dark chocolate, but after a little while, the back of my throat started to burn. Tasted nothing like Tabasco.

Big Hunk (pictured above)

– A peanut-flavored taffy, which would have been weird even if it hadn’t been used to hit on me.

– It did provide a good cure for the Snack Attack, tho.

 
[Ed. note: If you’re wondering, I did indeed Bust It, Smack It and Break It To Pieces. The people in this food court are giving me the best looks. One guy has a cowboy hat on!]

  
Ice Cubes

– Not actually ice cubes. Just weirdly soft chocolate.

  
Zotz

– Whoever named this candy must really like Zs.

– Fizz bombs akin to the fizzy Warheads.

  
Giant Chewy Sweet Tarts

– I did not enjoy chewing on that trivet. 

  
Round Up candy cigarettes

– Pretty dull, but man did I ever feel cool eating them.  

 

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

One thought on ““Oh, you want weird?”

  1. TacoKelly says:

    I have a big hunk sitting in my candy jar. I’ve been afraid to break my teeth off on it.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s