Breaking Off A Piece

Don’t ask me how or where this thought originated, but for some time now, I’ve considered the major Cadbury eggs as something of the bullies of the Easter candy aisle. Like, if the candies all came to life in the same vein as they do in Toy Story, only went to high school, the Cadburys would both be wearing letterman jackets, shoving the Peeps into a locker and making fun of their little brother, Mini, for being a mathlete.

Everyone knows who they are, so they’re not going anywhere, but everybody else secretly doesn’t much care for them.

At one point in my life, the Cadbury Creme was my favorite candy, period. I’d eat scores of them every Easter and relish them in the month after, before they’d return in February. But then my tastebuds developed, or something, and holy wow, they are so dadgum sweet. The creme/frosting filling is just so overwhelmingly saccharine, I usually only eat one a year.

That’s right. The candy and frosting inside is too sweet for the candy bar blogger. Who also likes frosting so much he could probably run a frosting blog [Ed. note: if he had the time or lack of shame], too.

The Cadbury Caramel, too man. It’s a great thing to eat if you ever also have eaten an entire carton of apple dip in one sitting. Otherwise, nope. Not gonna do that.

But they’re ubiquitous this time of year and are one of the most iconic Easter candies out there.

And I bet the Rain-blo Eggs and the Jellybeans resent the hell out of that.