At some point I’ll talk about Snickers Peanut Butter, but I’m really just not in the mood. Dove is Dove.
At some point I’ll talk about Snickers Peanut Butter, but I’m really just not in the mood. Dove is Dove.
I’m dubious of anything that labels itself “smooth” and “crunchy” (was really hoping Google image search was going to dig up some gold on that one, but, alas, I have nothing to link to). Unless you have the proven reputation of jumbo shrimp, you best be careful throwin’ oxymorons around with such frivolity. Continue reading
[Ed. note: Rank ‘Em Up is a running feature in which I will give definitive rankings of something candy-bar-related, and you will disagree with me and end up respecting me less.]
These are the definitive rankings of the colors of Skittle.
1. Red
2. Old green
3. Yellow
4. Orange
5. Purple
17. New green. Fk you, new green. I hate you and you have made it impossible to grab a handful and toss them into your mouth without care or consequence. You mesh with none of the other flavors and besmirch the memory of your predecessor in color.
Disagree? Sound off. I have my reasons. I’m curious about yours. Taste the rainbow.
Of all the flavors extracted from things that are used in making sweet things tasty (early favorite for qualifier of the year, I know), almond is by far my favorite.
It probably stems from my youth, when Mother Bar would consistently bake good-ass things flavored with almond, namely cake, cookies and, the best of them all, frosting. (If you have never had a tasty baked good with almond frosting, I encourage you to do so immediately, then if you don’t like it, escort yourself from the room and give your taste buds a talkin’ to because they need to straighten up, buster.) Continue reading
I came across these two candy bars in a “buy me!” bin near a Jewel-Osco checkout lane in late 2014. Fully aware, at that point, that I was about to eat 365 different candy bars in the forthcoming year, I grabbed these two a) for fodder and b) because I’d never seen them before.
I don’t know if I’ll see them again. What I do know is that after Sunday and Monday, I’ll probably never eat them again.
Slo Poke Tasting Notes
– Why did they spell it like that. Continue reading
Sometimes, when you’re having an especially rough day, a coworker notices and offers a token of camaraderie, and it really helps.
***
“Everything’s great.
.. Thank you.”
As the server walked away from his table, Jeff glanced back down at the tenders resting atop their french fry bed. He had no idea whether they were actually great — he hadn’t taken a single bite — but they looked great enough, the same Sysco breaded chicken whatevers available at any other pub. Fingers here, strips there. They were hard to screw up.
One place once had the nerve to call them “cutlettes”. Fkers. Continue reading