Rank ‘Em Up: Skittles


[Ed. note: Rank ‘Em Up is a running feature in which I will give definitive rankings of something candy-bar-related, and you will disagree with me and end up respecting me less.]

These are the definitive rankings of the colors of Skittle.

1. Red
2. Old green
3. Yellow
4. Orange
5. Purple

17. New green. Fk you, new green. I hate you and you have made it impossible to grab a handful and toss them into your mouth without care or consequence. You mesh with none of the other flavors and besmirch the memory of your predecessor in color.

Disagree? Sound off. I have my reasons. I’m curious about yours. Taste the rainbow.

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2 thoughts on “Rank ‘Em Up: Skittles

  1. […] My theory? Orchards is the severance package they offered Lime when it got demoted from the main bag in favor of the upstart Green Apple. […]


  2. […] cramming a handful of skittles in your mouth with the new green apple flavor, it sticks out and doesn’t play nice with the other colors. I give these tacos a 2 out of […]


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